i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Randomize