So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
