You don't have asthma, your pregnant
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
