Im at strip club and am horny
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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