omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize