walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
