Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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