hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
