so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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