Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
