i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
She is in my trunk
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
