Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize