what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
