Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Randomize
