he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
