Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
