Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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