Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize