you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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