yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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