I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
