guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Randomize
