Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
