i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
tell me about the fingering
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