my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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