Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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