guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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