I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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