I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I just cut my nipple shaving
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
