Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You're breaking my sexual little heart
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
