Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
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