a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
