Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
