Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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