I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
