you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My butt remains clenched, sir.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize