My room smells like vodka and shame
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
