how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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