next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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