I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
