Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize