If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
