when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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