Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
