Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
