I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
