theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
