I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
