i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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