Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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