is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
