And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
