Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
