STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
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