so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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