How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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