No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
