I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize