You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
