were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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