my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
