I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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