More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
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