You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize