I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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