He is an equal opportunity slut.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize