You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
it was like eating out sand paper
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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