I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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