i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
